Relationships are relationships, Kym. Dayzee sounds like a great teacher.
So you are on noitice now: You are to give more of what you give to Dayzee to your partner (not giving less to Dayzee). You expand yur capacity to feel and to give.
And, you are to reassure yourself as you reassure Dayzee. What she needs to be less fearful may be what you need to be less fearful too.
And while we on the subject, why aim for less fearfull? Why not aim for self confident?