Yes, it's interesting, in fact it's wonderful, that when we speak from our deep and true experience we meet each other. :)
I keep learning anew to trust that when I hit a growing place or a place of clear vision it's important for me to share it, even if I don't know where it's going.
Like you, I didn't know I had this rigidity. I thoought my beliefs were facts and descriptive of who I am. Well, it was rigidity, and it's not a description of who I am.
Who I am is someone who has been ploughing through creating a basic, awkward, clumsy infographic for two . Who I am is someone who can learn to do what she thought she couldn't learn or do.
And so are you! Math, trust, self comfort, yoga - these are terrific finds that exist on the other side of your barriers. You are going for them. And yes, tears are part of the process. But tears end and the process keeps going.
Process: it's an accurate word but so devoid of what actually is happening. Your blood moves. Your throat chokes. Your tears come. Your feelings of near despair well up. You hit the barrier. You feel like you either give up and go back or you collapse.
If you give up and go back, you're miserable. If you move forward you think you'll have nothing left after the collapse.
But, lo and behold, it's not you who is collapsing. It's the rigid thinking and the barrier that's going down!
Yes. I can well believe you "feel pretty good." Your barriers are falling and your authentic self is rising. :) Brava, Jackie!
Thank you so much for writing and sharing your experience.
And now I go back to my infographic. :)