Wow Joanna, I really like this one! I think I need to print and keep a copy handy!
A couple weeks ago when I dug up all that shame I noticed myself going back into Ed thinking with wishes to become small physically and emotionally. Those thought usualy lead to isolating and dieting. I got hard on myself, thinking my recovery was weak and wondering if I'll ever become strong; but then I thought it didn't matter if it was weak, I had to back off of working through the shame. I didn't know (and still don't) if I was going down the wrong road, taking on too much or shouldn't do it on my own, but I knew I had to "box" up the feelings for my therapist.
After reading this I realize those "get small" thoughts were my recovery's warning signs and there was nothing weak about it or me. Hopefully next time I won't beat myself up before using those thoughts as a tool.
Thank you so much!!!