These are wonderful vignettes about the
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These are wonderful vignettes about the real experiences and challenges women face in the sexual aspects of recovery. Shh, you learned, at least in this once instance, that tenderness and caring can help move you through a rigid place where the only pleasure allowed had to be pain. You developed within the relationship so that humiliation could be replaced with respect. You discovered more dimensions to your ability to have sexual pleasure. Brava and so important. Tracy, one way to get away from the intolerable reality is to dissociate. Another is to go crazy, even for a short period of time. It's a kind of death where you can't be reached because you, Tracy, no longer exist. It makes abundant sense that you would be afraid of losing your mind when losing your mind is a powerful way to protect yourself from your terrible experience. What I want to talk about with the clinicians is the challenge of finding the beginning place to work. The way I see a clinician meets a person in these sensitive areas is by beginning in a place the mind and spirit can tolerate. That beginning place may seem to have little or nothing to do with sex or memory. Art? Working with clay? Movies and theater? Sketching body sculptures? Watching healthy children in safe, protected and active physical play? Interacting with animals? Yoga? Dance? Poetry? Activities that evoke emotional and physical feelings - gently - with conversation, associations, journal writing. Never did the 12-step saying, Easy Does It" be as relevant as working in this area. Finding the beginning place and working very very very slowly - and even more slowly than that, I think is key. What do you both think?