I see a common theme hear among many of us - that we tried to avoid hearing or seeing too much of this tragedy as it unfolded. A day later, I am still not watching any news, and the only updates I receive are what I see on the computer (and I read very little of that). Our pastor is going to do a special service tomorrow and include a special communion time. I doubt I will be able to avoid it then. I think it will be a healthy thing for me to listen and not distance myself any longer. One thing that I have done with tragedies in my life, is to avoid and dissociate myself from the pain of the trauma. As I work thru this type of response to trauma with my therapist, I think she would agree that (for me) continuing to repress my grief over this situation is very damaging.
PTC I can understand how being so geographically close to Newton poses an even bigger response to your psyche. I live about 4 hours from Va. Tech and I knew students who went there when the big shooting happened there a few years ago. It hits really close to home, doesn't it? I am sorry it is affecting you the way that it is. I hope that you find a way to deal with this along with the rest of us. Hang in there!