I know that I am special just because I breathe. I'm completely aware of this when I am alone. I enjoy my own company. My sense of humor allows me to appreciate the absurdities that appear daily in my life. I appreciate my ability to attend to minute details and then think about them for hours. I appreciate my creativity and how it crosses all areas of my life. I appreciate my ability to find things that interest or entertain my mind. I appreciate my intelligence. I appreciate the aspects of me that are sexy and charming at any size.
I just noticed that each of these things has to do with the mind and not the body. Okay. I appreciate the genetics that allowed me to have an attractive face and wild, curly hair. I appreciate that somewhere there is a small frame with decent proportions waiting for me to show up.
My problems arrive when I or others don't see me or don't respect the boundaries I have created for myself. Then I begin to disappear. I stay in my mind and not in my body. I notice that the quirks I love are causing problems for the people I live with. I start focusing on the problems rather than the solution. I don't apply love to heal it. I have the power, I just won't access it. This is highly annoying to the part of me that loves me, who doesn't see this transition to healthy as an impossible task. That person thinks it is as easy as breathing, you just do it. You just do it.