I stood up for myself and my needs toigh
- Category: Unsorted Comments
I stood up for myself and my needs toight in NIA (dance) class tonight. I recently had to switch studios bcause of a safety issue at my old place. I'm really struggling because this studio has a full wall mirror and seeing myself dance is triggering my distorted body image. Last week there were curtains drawn over part of it and I asked if we could keep it closed. The instrutor agreed and many others joined me in that section. So tonight (same instructor) I asked if I could close it again and she agreed. While she stepped out, a woman (who wasn't there last week) tried to open it (although she always dance in another place). I told her we were keeping that part closed and and she told me that I needed to expand my experience and use the mirror. I know if I explained why I wanted it closed she would understand better but I thought, why do I have to expose myself to someone I don't know just to get her blessing. I thought "Lady, until you have to deal with my demons, don't judge me!!" and I just told her that she could the same thing and try it closed. When the instructor came back she didn't know what happened and she spoke about the virtues of dancing without the mirror because it keeps your attention outwards instead in inwards and urged everyone to spend time in that section. Love it!!!! Got what I needed to enjoy my dance experience and I didn't have to expose myself! I also didn't give into the "shoulds" which told me I should be able to do this with mirrors, but I honored where I'm at now which means mirrors are hard. Yeah me!!