I am not typically one for schemes or diet fads. I've purchased two different exercise dvds that I saw on television infomercials (step aerobics and zumba). I haven't opened the Zumba set yet. I've had it for over a year. I don't have the discipline for quick weight loss schemes.
However, I can easily spot a liar. My parents are often dishonest. I don't like lying. I don't like people who lie. This is not to say that I haven't lied to protect myself over the course of my life, it's to say that I don't like it. I'm more honest now. I don't have anything to hide. I sometimes feel awkward when I openly tell people that I have an eating disorder...but I do, and I'm not ashamed of seeking help for it.
My former boss was often dishonest. Many of the choices she made were morally and ethically wrong. It caused me a great deal of stress and heartache. I confronted her about her lies. It opened a can of worms because every time she would try to counter one of my accusations, she would tell another lie and I would have to confront her again.
These challenges were in private conversations and in front of the entire staff. No one else would speak up. I almost quit my job over her. I gained twenty pounds over her. I contacted the union and spoke to administration about what was going on and finally I decided to hand the situation over to God. Within months she was moved out of my building. I don't have to deal with her anymore. Now other people are dealing with her behavior. It's not going well for her. I try not to engage in talk about her because she is such a trigger for me. I don't wish her harm. I just don't want to have anything to do with her ever again. I was telling the truth. If I wasn't telling the truth, I would have been fired. As difficult as it was, I would do it again. I care about honesty and integrity. I care about the clients I serve.
Recently, my adoptive parents lied to me regarding my adoptive sister and the breakdown of her marriage. I don't know why they felt the need to lie to me. I am her sister. I guess they were ashamed of her adulterous behavior and wanted to hide the truth. They wanted to stay in denial. When I confronted them about what was going on, they told me more lies. They just kept lying to me. I didn't talk to them for about seven months as a result. I was just so furious with them for their continued disrespect towards me. My therapist told me to write to them, but I didn't. It wouldn't make any difference because they don't see their own behavior. They don't see me at all. I'm not going to change them. I'm not going to change my sister.
You can see now why my former boss upset me so. I have been dealing with that sort of behavior and my inability to do anything about it for my entire life. The only difference is that I was able to speak out and forge a way for change to take place at work. Praise God.
Before therapy, I didn't realize that I had some issues with setting boundaries. I've always been a bit self-righteous and outspoken when necessary, but my verbal tirades didn't change the situation. It just made people point the finger at me. I'm setting boundaries all the time now. I can't say I feel comfortable while I am doing it, but I feel better after I do.