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Blog -
Friends and Family
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Written by Joanna Poppink
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Wednesday, 21 July 2010 15:55 |
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I spoke with a father this week who told me his daughter, 35 years old, no longer threw up but still had compulsive thought patterns and feelings of shame. He said the first he and his wife knew their daughter had a problem was when a friend of her confided to them that their daughter, then 20 years old, was suicidal. I was so moved by this man's story, especially when he thanked me, with tears in his eyes, because it was the first time he spoke about his feelings about his daughter's trials.
The question that comes up is, why would a loving parent who saw his child every day not notice
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Joanna's Blog 
I remember sitting at the dinner table almost 3 yrs ago when they confronted me. It was awful. I never really said anything but did say I would go see someone. We never talk about my ED and I've never told them that I have one. Those words have never been spoken. They know I go to therapy but that's about it. I don't talk to them about anything and hate when they ask me questions about it. I hate that they worry and I saw my dad cry like a baby when I told him I'd go talk to someone, which killed me, but I also don't want them asking me questions about anything. I just wish they didn't have to worry about me.
I just babbled on about nothing.
You babbled on about something important. And you didn't babble. I've never seen a post from you so grounded in realistic specifics and feelings.
You needed help long before you got it. The nature of an eating disorder makes it difficult for the person with the eating disorder to recognize she needs help and difficult to ask for help because of shame and fear.
Thank you for this comment, PTC. It's honest and presents a picture I believe many people - daughters and parents - can identify with.
warm regards,
Joanna
I don't think my parents, well my mother mostly, "gets it." She'll always ask me if I'm still "seeing that lady" and then asks why I am going and why I need to go and that I must have "psychological problems" if I go see her. It gets me so mad. We finally had a little email exchange a few weeks ago where I sort of explained that she and my dad were the ones that suggested I go talk to someone about my "eating problems." I think she just feels badly because I don't talk to her about things but I go talk to this random person. You know? I don't want to talk to them and try to explain things because they won't get it. My dad is much better at having conversations with me than my mom.
I'm still not sure I want to "get better." I don't like hating my body and being miserable sometimes, but I don't want to gain weight. I don't think I need to. I want to be tiny (I'm short, just under 5'1"), so it makes sense for me to be small.
Now I'm really babbling.