Forums: General Eating Disorder Issues
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Re: Committed to recovery?
Posted By Joanna Poppink
Dear Kym,
Good for you for writing in and staying on your recovery plan! The key to recovery is sticking with your recovery work regardless of how you feel.
Your feelings will change and keep changing. You go for recovery on days when you feel good and days when you feel discouraged or scared or angry.
This is the way you learn how to bear your feelings instead of using your eating disorder to hide from them. The only way to learn to bear you feelings is, well, to bear them, to feel them.
No matter what you feel, the feeling will pass.
Think of any feeling you've ever had in your life. Ask yourself,"Did I have that feeling 24 hours a day every day all my life?"
If you don't like your life you need to be able to make the changes you need that will allow you to live a better life. You can makes those changes when you have the strength that comes with recovery and the creativity that gets freed when you are in recovery.
Feeling sad, bad, mad, hurt, scared, angry and doubts about yourself and your decisions are normal feelings that come and go even though they feel strong and powerful.
You just feel what you feel, honor what you feel and stick to your recovery plan. The more you feel without acting out the more progress you make.
Please keep writing in and let us know how you are doing.
warm regards and congratulations for doing the fine and arduous work that will take you to recovery.
Joanna
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Re: Physical Effects from Recovery
Posted By Joanna Poppink
Dear Kellyn,
Congratulations on finding your way to your recovery path. Especially, congratulations on sticking with it and asking for support as you struggle with your uncomfortable feelings.
Recovery takes time and comes in stages. The first stage for you is adding weight so your body as an opportunity to establish normal functioning in every system and in every organ.
Yes, you will feel strange and disrupted. Yes, you will have trouble with what you see in the mirror.
Part of the mirror reflection is what you body is actually experiencing during this transition to health. Part of the mirror reflection is eating disorder perception giving you real distortions in what your see coupled with harsh criticism.
If you can manage it, give yourself a year to fluctuate in mind as well as body. Stick to your
healthy eating and exercise program and decide that your overall health and well being is the highest priority in your life.
If you can do that then you can get some relief from the worry and judgments. Most importantly, you can put your mind on other things that will enrich your life.
By all means write again and let us know how you are doing.
warm regards and congratulations again!
Joanna
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Is This Normal in Recovery?
Posted By Kellyn F
I was diagnosed with my eating disorder when I was about 23/24. It all began with losing "a few pounds" to losing more then 20 lbs. I was "normal" before my "diet." I'm not sure how long I've been in recovery, but I kind of started getting "better" about a year ago. I still have bad days, but there are many more good days. I have gained weight back...more than I'd like, and I can realistically say that without my ED voice. I'm not absolutely out of my mind that I'm a little heavier than I'd like, but it is frustrating. Since I've started eating "normally" (I'm on a meal plan) eating certaing things has gotten easier. I don't crave them as much...I don't feel like binging on them. I workout a lot (about 6 times a week), and I used to binge on carbs (bread, crackers, etc.), but I've noticed that as I follow this meal plan those cravings have decreased. I still struggle with the whole idea of the weight gain though. The way I gain weight now is so much different than how I gained it before. It "clings" to different parts of my body than before. I'm now 26, and I just finally got my period a few weeks ago after not having it for 3 years. So I know my hormones are crazy right now. My levels, etc. are all crazy. I now have polycystic ovary syndrome...not sure if its a result of my ED. Anyway, I have so much to say, but I just want to know if this has happened to anyone else. The weight gain...and how its put on. I hate it. Does it get better? In the beginning of my recovery I would binge about 3 times a week, and it has gradually decreased. I rarely binge now...I may overeat, but that's different (to me) than binging. My weight is on my "love handles" and thighs mostly. Is it my age or is it a shock to my body? My doctor said it will take a while for my body to get back to normal, but I need to hear other people's recovery stories. What were, are some of your physical/emotional side effects? I could go on writing forever, but I need to hear you guys.
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Im here to find help for someone close to me (please read...)
Posted By John K
I just typed up 4000 characters worth the text for this and it got erased so forgive me if this is a tad more short and sweet.
My name’s John and my 15 year old girlfriend of 13 month’s name is Kara. Shes suffered from an eating disorder for the duration of our relationship and it’s grown to a state of Bulimia recently. Here’s the quick rundown of her eating disorder’s history and progression
She was discontent with her weight around last july and began dieting. By october she’d lost 20 pounds and was checked into a rehabilitation center by her mother. 3 months later she emerged with all the tools she needed to stabilize her mental state and physical weight, however shortly after she began to fall off the edge. Her mom had been taking her to routinely weigh-ins and therapy. As her weight declined she began to stuff weights in her clothes to appear as if she was up to the 110 pounds her mom thought she was. This went on until she slipped up around 4 months ago when her mom surprised her. She weighed in at 98 pounds and her mom went on to force feed/control her diet with a constant flow of foods high in fat. As a result of this she developed purging behaviors to compensate for the bingeing. As her mom backed off with the force feeding the behaviors stayed with her. Her mom saw her eat and assumed everything was alright up until this weekend. Her mom noticed she was looking a little underweight and weighed her to find she was still at 98 pounds. The resulting arguments and threats to send her back to rehab left Kara traumatized. She came to me and a mutual friend in search of help, willing to do whatever she could to put on weight and end her bingeing and regurgitating without resorting to being sent back to rehab by her mom. We sat down with her mom and convinced her to give us two weeks to get her into a better state mentally and physically before she jumps to rash actions. This seemed to give a sense of optimism that lasted until about 5 hours ago. We’d planned on keeping her on a high protein diet and keeping in touch with her constantly to make sure she wouldn't relapse.
The friend was intent on taking her to his house to make her dinner but instead had a change of plans. He brought her with him to his friends house where he had to help him with his a wiring problem. He wasnt able to bring her back to around 930 which she told him was too late for her to eat. When she got home she ate and went to sleep, waking up an hour later to binge and purge, angry at him and herself for doing it. Now its 130 at night and shes lost faith in her best friend who was previously a huge source of support and in herself. She’s driven to the point of suicidal thoughts by her disease and on top of everything her grandma’s nurse called and told the family she had till the end of the year to live.
She’s in desperate need of someway to get back on the right track and this is really her and my last resort. A few questions i really need answered-
-how do i control her/rationalize with her and how does she help to calm herself down when shes having an episode (forgive my lack of appropriate terminology but im
referring to the state of mind she gets in after she’s triggered)
-how can she prevent triggers
-how can she stabilize her diet without causing all of her weight to go straight to her stomach
-how can she regain faith and keep optimistic after failing herself over and over again?
Any help at all is IMMENSELY appreciated. She’s such a smart and beautiful girl and its such a shame that this has gotten the best of her. I really dont know how much time she has left/how realistic her suicidal thoughts are. Her eating disorder has reached a climax and shes in desperate need of help.
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Re: Im here to find help for someone close to me (please read...)
Posted By katie
Modified:
Hi John
I agree with what has been said,it sounds like unfortunately treatment could be the best best option for her,Ive been inpatient a few times and its not nice but sometimes uoi juat cant do it on your own...Im in recovery now.
you sound like an absolute star the way you are supporting her,thats all you can do.
katie
xxxxxx
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Re: Im here to find help for someone close to me (please read...)
Posted By Fhaye Jones
I could feel your pain and how much you really love Kara to help her. Your doing every effort just to make her healthy. Going through those <a href="http://www.residentialtreatment411.com">residential treatment programs</a> I could say will help you a lot and specially to Kara. Be strong John and don't give up.
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Re: Im here to find help for someone close to me (please read...)
Posted By Joanna Poppink
Modified:
Dear John,
What anguish and fear you describe. I'm so sorry you and Kara and her family are in such difficulty.
The questions you ask are all related to phases of eating disorder recovery. With deep and long term work with mental health professionals who are experienced in the field of eating disorders, Kara can make progress.
What concerns me about your post is that going back to residential treatment is seen as a threat and something to be avoided. That may be her best option right now.
But, residential treatment does not give a person all the tools to deal with her eating disorder.
Effective residential treatment can bring a person back from the edge of a crisis so she is capable of doing sustained work on an outpatient basis.
Most residential treatment programs have services for families and actually require parents to attend family therapy sessions before the young patient goes home. These also are not one time events that equip a family for the stresses ahead.
These give a family a base from which to begin developing new goals and new philosophies of parenting that incorporate what a recovery person needs. Ongoing supportive therapy work is often needed and advised for the family as well.
You obviously care very much for Kara. But all the love in the world cannot rally the expertise and sustained effort required to bring her to health. Kara is ill and needs treatment.
For more information and resources you can look at:
Academy for Eating Disorders (AED)
http://www.acadeatdis.org
National Eating Disorders Association
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
I wish you well, John. I hope you get some support for yourself. You are under terrible stress.
warm regards,
Joanna
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How do I post?
Posted By Joanna Poppink
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We appreciate your understanding and apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
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